2013: A Personal Review

Dear Blog, Am sorry I haven't been consistent with my blogging despite my many promises. I just wanted to write something for my personal reference as a review of the year 2013. Woah I still can't believe the year is almost over.

This has been a strange year for me. I spent a good chunk of the first half of the year expecting my medical college entrance which I did not get yet. I will be leaving by the start of January 2014 Insha Allah. Despite this misfortune or perhaps good fortune, 2013 brought me some wonderful memories with friends and family.

Sabir doing what he does best. Owh and Waji feeding him
because the only thing better than food is food with love :p

Since I had absolutely nothing important to do most of the time, I spent plenty of time with my equally "free" friends :p. Most of the time we just hang out playing Fifa. Can't believe how important Fifa has become to us :D. It'd be appropriate to say that Fifa has become part of the culture of our gang.

I had to visit my agent several times and sometimes had to go to the embassy in Colombo. So I got to go on trips with my dad. I consider those a blessing.

Shahaan went to Latvia, we had an awesome time at his place before he left. Bugger also got a chance to get back home for a vacation just 3 months after his departure. Ifam went to England to complete the final year of his degree. Masroor finally settled down to CIMA and Mehdhi went to Colombo to follow some IT degree. Doti has his thing going smooth in Colombo, he also has a new job now; I doubt we would get to see much of him anymore. Osama is almost an engineer and Nattan is on his way to becoming one. Waji and I are working on our ventures. I guess it's time we all found ourselves a life.

Shaheem's dad passed away just before this Ramadan. He was a great man. We will always remember him.

Waji's granny passed away. We were invited to his place for Iftar during Ramadan. And about 5 minutes before the actual azan time, someone's phone rang and the ringtone was Sheikh Mishary Rashid's azan. Hanifa sir was quick to stuff in the dates and go on with the breaking of fast and he was the only one to do so :D I definitely want to remember that day! It was also the day Shahaan got his brand new, not-at-all-polite nickname.

We went on a small trip to Sembuwatte before Shahaan returned to Latvia. I made a blog post about it. It will always remain a great memory.

26th August 2013, Inshaf mourning
the embarrassing Manchester City defeat.

I still remember the morning of 26th August. Manchester City had just taken a brand new beating from this small team Cardiff City on the night before. Waji and I went to Inshaf's place to see his sorry face. 

I went to Vavuniya alone to spend some time away from home. It was an attempt to give myself some practice for what is awaiting me in Bangladesh. It was some experience since I had to find my aunt's place on my own. 

David Beckham retired from Football :( He is my second favorite sportsman of all time; the first being Kumar Sangakkara! Dilshan retired from test cricket. The great Tendulkar retired from cricket as well! 

Sabir and I accompanied Marickar uncle and my dad to Mannar on the 17th October. It turned out to be a great trip :).

1st November, 2013; Me playing chef and
 I was pretty good at it :p 

We tried BBQ at home in the night of 1st November. It was a first for us. We had to improvise due to the lack of equipment. Surprisingly, it turned out to be not so bad :D. I did burn a chicken or two but who cares, after all it is the event that matters :p.

We went to watch a T20 cricket match at Pallekele on the 22nd of November. It was the one between New Zealand and Sri Lanka. We kicked ass! It turned out to be a very special memory since we got to take pictures with the stars. Inshaf screwed my chance of shooting a picture with Malinga although I got an awesome pic of him and Malinga! I will not forget that.

22nd November, 2013; Zaman, Inshaf and I with our skipper Anjelo Mathews.

Mifrij nana got married at the start of this year. He now has a gorgeous little version of himself! Mushrifa got married on the 30th of November. It was a fun week. I got to meet all my cousins. We had an awesome time with barbecues and other great stuff.

There are a lot of other things I might have missed but 2013 had been one of those legendary years of mine. For me, it's one for friendship since it gave me plenty of time to spend with my friends with school out of the equation.

The purpose of this post is a note to self. I hope I will always remember these events and the others I didn't mention here for the rest of my life. 

A Surprise Trip

At a time of desperation due to a life of boredom came a temporary chance to escape all the free time I have in the form of a call from a close friend of mine. It was to ask me if am available to go on a barbecue mission to a close location. I nodded a quick yes since my life is absolutely event-less these days. However the irony of this whole scene was that such trips are meant for those who work hard, those who are in need of an escape from their busy lives, not to me; not to us :p. I honestly don't know how Inji, being a fellow "boiling frog", managed to convince himself and us that we needed this event. Nevertheless, we made it a point to seize the self-created opportunity.

It was a Friday (6th of September, 2013) and we decided to leave soon after Jumma which obviously meant we were to leave an hour or so after Jumma. All of us were gathered at a friends place expecting Inji's blue Honda Fit Aria 2003 when a white Toyota Corolla dx Wagon sprung into view. The first impression was "Holy *beep*, we are about to be barbecued". We call it "The Paradise" not because of its comfort, its pure irony. Now the Wagon was introduced to the market in the early 1980s, imagine our reaction when we realized that the luxury of our trip just got pushed back a couple of decades. Yet it was all part of the fun trip. Inji's idea was that this would be more fun, more authentic. But one should know that there were a few problems with the so called Paradise, the most pressing of them all was the condition of its breaks. I guess the Paradise was meant to be ridden eternally, non stop, yes we could do very little to stop the beast.

There were seven of us and the Paradise was meant for five passengers including the driver. However we managed to pack ourselves in the heavenly automobile; The Satan took the wheels, Wahabi in the front seat, Wataka, Doti, Inji and Sotta took the back seat. I offered myself to the extreme back of the Paradise, the area meant for the luggage. And so the trip began!

It was a rainy day and The Paradise had no fully functional wipers. Its Air Conditioning was as good as its breaks and I wouldn't allow them to close the shutters as the pre-heated charcoal pieces next to me were emitting some serious Carbon Monoxide. Wahabi being the co-pilot of The Paradise had to keep wiping the mist off the wind screen. The trip got more fun when the east side of The Paradise started to leak :D. We had our engineer Sotta build a mechanism to counter this malfunctioning. The Paradise had to man the heavy rain with stunted visibility, nearly no breaks and with Satan behind the wheels. We thought we were heading straight to hell that day. It took us almost an hour and a half to get to Sembuwatta, an awesome place of scenic beauty and relaxation. The trip uphill would have been tragically boring had we not entertained ourselves at the expense of our clergy, Wahabi.

I was gaping for fresh Oxygen by the time we pulled the Paradise over. Dotius and Satan managed to get all seven of us in to the park paying only for five tickets. It was 4 PM when we got there and the closing time was 6 PM. Hence we had to work against time. Luckily for us the rain had stopped. We carried our supplements to a hut located near the lake. Dotius being the self appointed genius of our group started to heat the charcoal up with his crazy petrol-based method :p. That was the patrol we had in store in case the Paradise ran out of fuel for its age old fuel indicators too were not functional.

The climate in Sembuwatta was super cold by Sri Lankan standards and there was a pool accessible to the visitors at even a colder temperature. Inji and I decided to take a bath while the others chickened out. We went back to the Paradise which was parked almost half a kilometer away from the hut to get our spare clothes while Doti and the rest were trying to get a working grill going. Inji and I were on our way back when we noticed flames coming from the wooden hut and smoke eloping its leaf-made roof. We rushed to the spot to find out that "Doti Pandi Nai" had overdone his petrol squirting and almost burnt the place down. That was one narrow escape. We learnt that day that Wahabi is extremely capable of handling crisis for he was the first and the only one to run down the stairs and out into the open while the rest of them were trying to put the fire out.

Finally, they managed to conjure enough heat to make the grill work. Doti and Satan started cooking, the real men of the lot decided to jump into the pool while the pansies watched us from a distance :p. I had a brain freeze the minute water touched my skin yet it was totally worth the fun. Wataka and Sotta almost pushed Wahabi into the pool but he escaped. The chicken was nearly ready when we walked out of the pool and so was the guard to wave the red flag to our fun. But we are like the Paradise, there is no stopping our fun! We switched to plan B while ravaging the semi-raw chicken and sausages like wildlings :D. The plan B was to go back to Sotta's place and finish our food there.

The trip downhill was faster and less torturous for me since Doti had taken my place while I enjoyed a good "window seat". I watched Doti shrink into a mediocre being due to the carbon smoke which now was stronger than before and felt happy for him :D. The Paradise cruised downhill with little breaks and a scared-to-death co-pilot, Wahabi. We reached Sotta's place at around 7 PM. We sat around the fire, grilled the chicken merrily. Shahan's mother offered us a first class "Inguru plain tea". We had a great dinner of bread and meat. The Paradise dropped everyone home before 11 PM and that marked the end of a historical day.

It became a day that will not be forgotten. The planning was crappy, almost nothing went according to plan except for eating the chicken. Yet the trip was a success for this shall be a pleasant memory to be revisited when times get tough. We truly are blessed, Alhamdulillah.

Quality time with Dad

It had been a while since my dad and I got to spend some time together. He is always busy with his office and I had been occupied with my studies. But yesterday we did get lucky enough to create a beautiful memory. Dad and I had to go to Colombo to run some errands. We ended up having an extravagant lunch, it simply was too much to eat. So in order to burn some calories and clear space for breathing, we decided to take a walk around the zoo.

Being the first born and having three siblings really cut short your chances of being alone with any of your parents. No matter how much you love them and how old you are, sibling rivalry is an inevitable human instinct. It felt really amazing to be there with Dad and no one else.

We went around watching the animals, it was fun. Some may think it is inappropriate for two adults, father and son, to be roaming the zoo at 3 PM on a Monday :D. Well it does not matter does it? It became a day that I will never forget.

My point in writing this short note is simple. Do make many memories as possible with your loved ones. Life is short, you ought to make the most of the time you have. As we grow old, our needs and wants change and most of us rarely have time for parents. I think it is a big mistake. No matter how old we are, some things should never change and one of them is how much we love our parents and more importantly how often we express our love for them. Love you Dad, you are the best!

The Dark Alleys of the Internet

Internet has gradually become a major need of modern man. A vast number of people depend on the world wide web to carryout their daily chores. Internet in general is accessible to anyone with a computer. However there are aspects of the internet that are unreachable to the average citizen. A very few know about the existence of such a dimension of the so called internet. There are deep and darker places hidden from the surface web, hidden from the reach of the general public and websites that cannot be contained by any sort of cyber law. I've been meaning to share this knowledge for a while now but I chose not to upon a moral conflict within myself. So let me just say you and you alone are responsible for your actions.

There exists a much bigger part of the internet known as the deep web, hidden web, dark net or sometimes referred to as the under net. These terms refer to websites that are not listed in normal search engines. The content of the deep web is unreachable to the web crawlers of the usual search tools of Google, Yahoo etc... Hence it is impossible to monitor the activity of sites in the dark net. This opens up endless opportunities for good as well as for bad.

If you want to get something stolen or someone killed, there are websites in the deep web that provide such services for a fee. There are sites from where one could purchase almost anything, from weapons to drugs. Terrorist organizations use the dark net for communication. Child pornography is a common interest among the regular users of the deep web. Apart from these perverse applications of the under net, there are many uses of it too. Many activists and journalists share their ideas with the world while enjoying complete anonymity. There is endless knowledge in the depth of the internet.

According to a study in 2004, the deep web contained approximately 7, 500 TB worth of data. This is nearly 395 times larger than the 19 TB of data on the surface web. These figures are sure to have risen if a study is conducted today. The sites of the dark net contains random content that are included in self contained, simple pages. This makes it even harder for search engines to detect their existence. The url of a dark net website would have a string of alpha numerals that ends with a .onion. For instance www.kpds8dsw.onion could be the address of a hidden website.

Hidden websites are not accessible through normal web browsers. There are specialized browsers for this purpose that ensures anonymity. My personal favorite is the Tor Browser. Follow the secure link to download the Tor browser bundle if you are interested in taking a peek at the deep web at your own risk.

kpvz7ki2v5agwt35.onion is a popular page to start your hidden web expeditions. You could also 
obtain a list of working hidden webs by googling "onion sites".

The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others

This is a really inspirational article written by Leo Babauta, writer of the blog zenhabits.net. I found it very helpful to enrich my morale at a time of need. Hence I thought of sharing it.

One of the biggest reasons we’re not content with ourselves and our lives is that we compare ourselves to other people.

Picture it: you see photos of what someone else is doing on Facebook and think your life isn’t exciting enough. You see someone else who has a cool job and think you’re not doing that great in your career. You see someone with a hotter body, and feel bad about yours. You see someone who has created an awesome business, and think you’re not doing enough. You read about people who are traveling the world, learning languages, going to exotic resorts and restaurants, and wonder why you’re not.

Of course, you’re comparing your reality to an ideal, a fantasy. It’s not a comparison that makes sense. You can’t compare apples to apples when you compare yourself to anyone else. Which means it’s a dumb comparison — why would you compare how tangy an orange is compared to a beach? They’re not similar things.

Let’s take an example: I’m out running in the park, and I see someone running past me. Obviously he’s a faster runner, and better than me! Oh, that makes me feel horrible about myself as a runner!

Except I can’t compare myself to that faster runner, because I don’t have all the information. I don’t know:

• How far they’re running (I might be running 12 miles and they’re running 2)

• Where they are in their training plan (I might be starting out on my plan, while they’re in week 20)

• Where they are in their particular run (I might be warming up, while they’re at the hardest part of their workout)

• How many years they’ve been running (maybe I’ve only started, and they’ve been running for 15 years)

• Their injury status (maybe I recently injured an ankle while they’re not injured)

• What event they’re training for (maybe they are training for a mile race, or a bike race, and I’m training for a 50-mile race)

• What else is going on in their lives (maybe they have nothing else going on, while I’ve been working hard, socializing, and moving to a new house and getting little sleep)

• What motivates them (maybe I just like the peace of running mindfully, while they want to beat everyone else on the path)

Given these and a bunch of other factors I don’t know anything about, why would I compare my speed at this moment with the speed of another runner? They’re irrelevant to each other. We just happen to be both running on the same path at the same time, but that’s coincidence, and nothing else is the same.

And even if everything else were exactly the same (would never happen), how would the comparison be useful? It would be meaningless even then.

The only thing I should focus on, as a runner, is myself. Enjoy the run. Learn about myself as I run. Keep going, and in doing so, I’ll get better — compared to myself.

And that’s the only thing we should focus on in life — enjoy the walk, learn about ourselves, keep taking steps and drop the comparisons. You’ll love the journey even more.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/comparing/

Am Addicted

I know I have always been a grade A Fifa addict but last time it really took me by surprise! I was playing career mode, it was midnight and I simply could not hit quit. There was the finals of the Champions league between FC Bayern and BVB scheduled to start at 12.15 my time. I knew I wanted to get off the game and go watch that match but still I couldn't! I was in a transfer window and I just couldn't stop. Eventually I had to pull myself off my seat :|

It is amazing how the mind works. We think we are in total control but that is not always the truth. The other day I read this bizarre thought, "what if our brain was the most successful parasite ever?". It really got me thinking, that statement does make some sense to me. I mean how many of us are not addicted to something? We all are guilty of being bound to something more than we should.

So back to Fifa, it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to not play this game. I mean one minute am watching a movie or an episode of a TV show and the next thing I know is that am starting this game with the movie paused! Yeah that's right, I currently am guilty of having no life :D. There is always this little voice at the back of my head calling, "Play me... FIFA..." lol.

Anyways, I wanted to do a bit of research on Addiction and how it works. As you know it is defined as impaired control over substances or behavior. Apparently my addiction is not an addiction at all. It is just a side effect of my extensive free time. God I have to find a better use for my time! I don't know why I made this post though... but I liked doing it. Btw FC Bayern won the Champions league ending their stream of big-match-choking, good for them!

Just a silly thought!

Today I met one of my close friends after what felt like ages. We hung out, chatting, joking and it was short to be honest, compared to how much time we used to spend together. It was fun, it always is when you get to meet old friends. Things change with time; people grow up. This has come to my realization now that am just after my schooling days. I've been trying to get into a university for a while now and it has left me with ample time to think about things that people do not have time to think over :p.

People change as time passes by, they have to in order to keep up with their lives. Sometimes we blame them for doing so, but what we seldom realize that change is inevitable. This friend of mine is doing two jobs while following a degree. He lives in another city, away from home. He used to be a lot more "available" to his friends back in our schooling days but now that his schedule of life has changed, he rarely has time to spend with us.

I've heard some of my other friends complain about him, like how much his new life has changed him. I think it is wrong of them for doing so. Like I said before, change is inevitable and without that it is difficult to keep up with life. However it is important to keep in touch with the people who matter to you whenever possible. Am really glad that I got to meet him today.

My 10 Most Inspirational Songs

There are times in our lives when we feel left alone, lost and confused. Circumstances that test our spirit, our potential to survive and go on overcoming barriers in life. It is during such times that we re-assess our resources looking for inspiration. Music is one such tool of great power. The following are my choice of the ten most inspirational songs of all time that seldom fail to raise my spirit at a time of need.  

   EYE OF THE TIGER - SURVIVOR
    

 IT'S MY LIFE- BON JOVI  

REACH- GLORIA ESTEFAN
 

YOU RAISE ME UP- JOSH GROBAN

CHAMPION- THE CHEVIN

CUP OF LIFE- RICKY MARTIN

HEAL THE WORLD- MICHAEL JACKSON

THE CLIMB- MILEY CYRUS

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY- R. KELLY

HERO- MARIAH CAREY

The Last Bullet

"Move!", said a voice from behind my back, 

My weary feet obeyed; never wondered why,

Leather boots, uniform and a ragged backpack,

With a rifle on my back, pointed at the sky, 

Marching for glory, no time to look back, 

That is what I tell myself for I live a heavy lie!

"Halt!", said the voice from behind my back, 

Did I have a choice? Never stopped to think, 

Not a second was wasted, not even to wink! 

Moving on their own, my hands kissed the metal,

My feet took their stand, hawk eyes, they aimed;

Am I still me? My mind failed to claim!

"Fire!", cried the voice, fierce and cold, 

My finger pulled the trigger, it does what it's told,

I don't reason why, for am a mere soldier, 

There's no turning back, every day it is colder;

I am a part of a blade of blood lust, 

There is no stopping till the very last bullet!

How Important is your Family?

I went through a certain "off time" which made me pray desperately for an immediate change in my life. I wasn't quite sure what to make of my life when I failed to produce a desirable result in the exam that was supposed to decide my future. My prayers were abruptly answered when my parents decided to pack me to Bangladesh to follow a degree in medicine.

Everything happened so fast from making the decision to applying to the university. Now am waiting for a confirmation letter from the university. If everything goes according to plan, I'd be leaving home in 2 to 3 weeks Insha Allah. Now that the idea of leaving home had struck me, I sense the immediate renewal of my bond with family and "home".

Suddenly, every little thing I do mean a lot more to me than it would under normal circumstances. It is funny how things are valued depending on situations. I'm yearning to cling on to every bit of "home" I could get before I leave. Had I thought of this earlier, I sure would have taken more care.

People never realize how important some things are until they have to part them. Family is one such thing. A place to call home, a close group of people who would support you, be there for you, no matter what; such things are irreplaceable! It's sad that most of us take these for granted.

This is a note to myself to remind me how lucky I am if I ever get stupid enough to doubt that! And if you are reading this, I would ask you to take a moment to review your relationship with your family.

I'm still not sure if I would be going out of country yet. But am glad this happened because it taught me a lot of things and certainly helped me be more grateful about what I've been blessed with.

SUPERNATURAL: Some things out there are beyond Science!

INVESTIGATIVE ARTICLE ABOUT A TRUE STORY

It is the belief of some that every single turn of events that take place have a legit scientific explanation behind them; even if they came across something that is beyond what one would term as natural they would convince themselves that a scientific explanation for that is yet to be uncovered in the near future while the others believe in the fact that some things are beyond the reach of science. I am a strong believer of the latter and an admirer of supernatural events. One such happening interested me recently inspiring me to produce this particular post.

A close acquaintance of mine serves at the General Hospitals of my area as a training doctor. She shared with me the history of one of her patients that made the very hair behind my neck stand erect in excitement.

The patient was a Sinhalese teenager and the initial presenting symptoms recorded suggested that he was suffering from "hyper extended neck" at the time of his admission. The reason for this was the awkward posture of him at that time. However a short talking session with the patient along with his obviously peculiar behavior revealed a lot more of his medical or it would be more suitable to use the term "mental" status.

This boy who was abandoned by his father at a very young age and with a mother who went abroad to try and support the family on her own had to live with his grandmother. A child's very early stages of life highly depend on its parents. Denial of this could have been the primary trigger of what happened to him in his early teenage. He would have sudden blackouts and wake up from them without having no memory of what happened to him. During these "off time" of his, his behavior had been violent towards those around him. The repetition of this made his guardians seek medical attention for him at a hospital dedicated for the mentally ill. Undergoing treatment for about an year, he returned home supposedly with a better state of mind.

Not long after that, yet another tragedy challenged his life. It is the death of his beloved grandmother. An argument broke out between his grandmother and the boy's uncle had ended with his grandmother consuming Curator. Curator is a brand of insecticide that is very toxic for humans as well. The boy was deeply grief stricken. Even his own mother who returned home could not replace his grandmother. It is at this point that he started seeing things. He says that he could see his grandmother at times and that she would instruct him to do things which he would not dare disagree. The medical term for this condition is "Bipolar Disorder". According to wikipedia, Bipolar disorder is a condition in which a person experiences disruptive mood swings. These encompass a frenzied state known as mania or hypomania usually altered with symptoms of depression. Bipolar disorder is defined by the presence of one  or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes.

According to him, the instructions of his Achchi (Grandmother) are often self destructive. He confessed attempting suicide more than once and failing to do so in fright thanks to that bit of consciousness in him. The boy however had managed to lead a nearly normal life despite all these unfortunate events in his life. He had even been a part of an online relationship that came to an end about a month ago. His mentality could not sustain such a blow at that stage and so he followed the example set by his grandmother and had drunk Curator. The boy has had a collection of pills that he refused to consume back from his days at the mental hospital. His Achchi instructed him to consume those as well just to ensure his demise which he obliged loyally. 

Shaken by the condition of her unconscious son, his mother urged him to the General Hospital. Miraculously, the doctors there were shocked that the pills he took had completely neutralized the poison of the insecticide in his body. And so he was allowed to go home since the medical staff had no idea of his mental issues.

It was a week ago that he had been readmitted to the hospital with a different case. The mother was under the impression that he was having fits and so she sought immediate medical attention for her son upon finding him shouting and shaking, acting strange. His violent self had returned only this time he would speak in perfect Tamil. Can science explain how a boy who had never known a word of Tamil and had lived in a Sinhalese neighborhood all his life would behave in such a way out of the blue? I really doubt that there could be a completely logical explanation.

I retrieved a video log of his behavior when he loses control from the doctor I mentioned earlier which I choose not to make public. And only a day after his admission had he attempted to murder the occupants of the beds around his in the ward. Currently the doctors are at a loss of answers to his malady. Doses of sleeping pills and injections are what  is controlling him at the moment.

However, during the absence of his "disease" he would behave like an entirely normal human being. She said he would be extremely polite and would have no any idea of the commotions he made.

A person with such hardships throughout his life could have had many triggers at any point of his life that might account for his mentality. But the video suggests otherwise. How did he learn to speak perfect Tamil? Could his subconscious have picked up bits of a new language and made sense out of them on their own? I don't think so. There certainly are things out there that are beyond what is normal; supernatural.